🔥 Your body isn’t broken. It’s learning to hold more.

Sadie Speaks is my personal writing — short, honest essays from the deep middle of things. They started as emails to my list, but they’ve become something more: snapshots of truth, power, and self-return, written in real time.

🎧 Want to hear it how I meant it? Listen to me read it below.

💬 Prefer to read? Here’s the original text.

Ever since last week—when I declared that I’m holding firm on boundaries around emotional labor—my body has been BUZZING. Not constantly, but close. Every time I give the dysfunction back instead of contorting myself to keep others comfortable (which is often, apparently), my body floods with energy. My heart speeds up. My arms tingle. It feels like anxiety or panic—but only in my body. Mentally, I feel calm. Clear.

At first, the dissonance between my brain and body was jarring. Confusing. I wondered if I wasn’t coping as well as I thought I was. Because if I’d really grown, why was my body on fire, screaming danger?

But the more I sat with it, the more I realized—this isn’t regression. It’s not stagnation either.

It’s expansion.

Betraying myself to keep the peace—like I used to—drained my energy. Every time I did it, I handed my power over to someone else. But now? I’m holding my power. I’m no longer leaking it through over-functioning, chasing, fixing, or explaining dysfunction away with excuses and excessive grace.

And now that I’m holding all that energy instead of bleeding it out—it’s a lot. It makes sense that my body’s not used to it yet.

I’ve seen this pattern before, in different forms: it takes time for the body to catch up to the brain. Change starts with pulling up the old belief (“I have to show everyone grace”) and replacing it with something truer (“I get to decide where and how I offer grace”). But we aren’t just brains—we’re layered, complex humans. Physical. Emotional. Spiritual. Energetic. A new belief in your mind isn’t enough. It’s just the start.

The anchoring happens when you live through the same experience again—but this time, you stay with yourself. You hold the new belief. You don’t abandon it when it gets hard. And eventually, your body starts to trust it. Because bodies don’t believe words. They believe repetition.

This is the part we don’t talk about enough. When you really start showing up differently—not just thinking about it, but doing it—your system doesn’t settle right away. It surges. It scrambles. It buzzes like a fuse box learning to hold a stronger current.

It’s not broken. It’s adapting.

So now, when I feel that strange combo—mental clarity and physical fire—I don’t panic. I don’t discharge it. I sit with it. I let it move through me. Because this is what my system is learning: how to hold the charge without abandoning myself.

And that? That’s what makes me powerful as hell.

If you’ve been feeling it too—wired, a little raw, maybe even questioning if you’re doing it wrong—you’re not. You’re just carrying more of yourself than you ever have before.

This isn’t a breakdown. It’s the build.

With all my wild heart,

Sadie xo

P.S. If something I said resonated — and you’re craving a space to unpack your own story — you can book a session with me here. I’d be honored to hold that space with you.